"This is the Cascade Department of Transportation with today's traffic updates.
Many of the city's main streets and bridges are under construction at this time.
This construction may cause significant traffic delays. Please be aware of
this and add additional time to your daily commute. Detour signs are prominately displayed to help
ease the changes in your usual traffic routes.
The parking lots of several of our larger shopping centers and malls is currently being used to store large
construction and road working equipment. Traffic to the harbor and docks is
also being detoured to alternate routes so be aware.
The City of Cascade apologies for any inconvenience these repairs may cause you. Thank you for your patience. This is the
City of Cascade Department of Transportation broadcasting on 560 on your AM dial."
"This traffic is *so* screwed!"
"You just now figuring this out, Darwin?"
"Right. Give me a break, Big Guy..."
*** And now for Sports. The Jags pulled a 12 point lead over their rivals, the... ***